You let them go
by Lonely Little Creeper
Summary: Elizabeth can't be with Ciel anymore. What if you can't let the person you love leave? (SebaCiel. Caution: Light Foul Language, Depressing themes in latest chapters, OCs in latest chapters for plot.) (Waiting for at least 55 reviews!)
1. Prolouge

_ Dear Ciel,_

_ I know you claim your feelings have been lost long ago with your parents' death, but forgive me for saying, I do not believe so. Perhaps you only disregard them for your own sake, for the business that you have inherited, for your servants, for the correspondents. You place a hard look on your face, a warning to all that your heart is colder than ice and your emotions are bitter like ampayala. _

_ They say the eyes are a window to the soul, and I've done a good amount of watching your cerulean eyes. I can see the pain you hide, the hatred for the world around you. You loathe each person that can laugh and smile freely; They have not forgotten how, like you. Each scowl that I've received has deeper meaning that just a strict look, for you envy my own happiness and obliviousness that I have toward the world. If only you can remember how much you are loved, Ciel. Even though you're alone in the world, you act as if it doesn't matter to you; But it does._

_ I want you to be happy. I want you to be able to grow up with memories that can make you smile and laugh as you tell your children. I try so hard, Ciel, to help you forget the bitter world of reality, but you resist my efforts. I can't go on like this. You've fallen too much and too hard in your own self-pity and anger for me to be able to pull you out again. It seems like you try to pull people into the abyss of your solace, and perhaps you've gained a grip on me. I don't want that for myself as much as I don't want that for you._

_ When you love someone, you let them go. You let them live their life without obligations, you let them be free to go where the wind takes them. Even though it hurts, maybe it wasn't meant to be. Tears are meant to spill, for it takes away the pain that your significant other has built inside from the goodbye._

_I'm sorry, Ciel. I'm very, very sorry._

_-Lady Elizabeth Ethel Cordelia Midford_


	2. Chapter One

Ciel turned his back to the streaming sunlight, pressing his face into one of the pillows that crowded his bed. He pulled his thick comforter up past his shoulder, smothering is thin body against the mattress. It was a few days since Elizabeth had sent him the letter, and he seemed to not be able to get over her. Even though he never loved Elizabeth like a fiance, she still was important to him, and he had lost her, due to her ability to read farther into him than others. He damned her for that.

"Good morning, young master. It's time to rise, your schedule is filled." the butler said, tying the curtains back. When he turned to face his master, he wasn't surprised to find him facedown in the white pillows. "Sir, you don't want to let breakfast become cold, would you?"

"Shut up, Sebastian." Ciel mumbled. His sleepless night of tossing and turning earned him pale circles under his deep blue eyes, knotted hair, and a grumpy attitude. The corner of Sebastian's lips twitched slightly, but he didn't let Ciel's snappiness get to him, considering he was used to it. He pulled the blankets down off of the young boy.

"Sir, please get up from your bed." Sebastian said, "Your busy schedule begins directly after breakfast, which should have been started by now, and ends-"

"Stop talking." Ciel said, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. He knew what time it was, and he knew when breakfast started, and he knew when breakfast was over. That's all Sebastian was about, timing and schedules. He had grown to hate them.

Sebastian shut his mouth. _Thankfully. _Ciel thought to himself, shifting to the side of the bed to be dressed. The butler's fingers worked skillfully at pulling the buttoned nightgown off the small boy, folding and setting it aside to be worn again that night when he would retire to bed. He pulled the waistline of the underwear down and off his his feet, and in place a fresh pair. Sebastian pulled on each shirt and tied each bow with care.

When Ciel was dressed, he stood up. "You have yet to tell me what's for breakfast, Sebastian." Ciel said, looking at him for a brief moment before standing straight and looking forward to have the small scrap of fabric tied to disguise his marked eye as a missing one.

"That is because, young earl, we're leaving for breakfast." Sebastian said, pulling his own concealing gloves at the base to fix them. Ciel looked up at Sebastian with a hard look.

"Sebastian-" He began to protest, but Sebastian said in place, "I know you've been upset lately, and it's only one morning. Besides, it's time for us to bond, yes?"

Let's just stop for a moment to explain something; Ciel and Sebastian were, together. Not together as in Ciel was submissive under the clad butler he called Sebastian, but over the years they've gained a relationship that was silently and mutually settled and built upon. This included Ciel freely being able to ask Sebastian to do things he normally would, as in to sleep beside him or to kiss him.

Ciel had loved it, secretly, deep down inside. He loved being able to stroke his fingertips across the flawless cheek of Sebastian, kiss his warm and soft lips, and feel loved in a special way even if it was just artificial feeling.

"Yes, I suppose you're correct." Ciel muttered, looking away from him. Sebastian gave a soft smile, hugging the young boy around his waist gently.

"Can you act like you're enjoying?" Sebastian asked him, kissing the top of his head. Ciel gave a small snort.

"You'll be able to tell that I'm lying." Ciel said, and a soft chuckle came from Sebastian.

"I'll pretend I don't know, my lord.".

**((AN: Hi everyone, much fluff in the next chapter, I promise C: Read and Review please!))**


	3. Chapter Two

Sebastian gave Ciel the ability to chose where he wanted to eat, considering the place Sebastian had picked was, "Too business, too formal" (coming from the young one, at least), but Sebastian knew it was because the dessert types were severely limited and didn't contain chocolate.

The place Ciel chose was called "Crimson Frog", a place best known for it's coffee and tea qualities; Not to mention it's silk pies were delicious. When they arrived, Sebastian waited beside, but slightly behind Ciel as they waited to be seated. The young earl let his eyes wander across the small restaurant, not missing a single detail even as the petite waitress lead them to a vacant table.

When they sat, Sebastian took a seat across from Ciel, thanking the waitress kindly for seating them and handing them the menus. Ciel watched, and a small spike of jealousy shot through him, misreading Sebastian's look for flirting with the girl. When she left, Ciel gave him a kick in the shin from under the table. "What the hell was that?" Ciel said, crossing his arms.

"Language, young master." Sebastian corrected, and then answered his question with, "I don't know what you mean. What have I done to upset you?"

"You were staring at her like a meal!" Ciel sibilated, and Sebastian gave a laugh.

"Oh young master." Sebastian said, leaning over the table and gently uncrossing the angry and jealous Ciel's arms, lacing their fingers together. "I think you use the wrong words; She is nothing except a potential meal to me." He kissed the earl's knuckles softly.

"Fine then. You were looking at her like you wanted to fu-"

"My lord, your language is quite unacceptable for a nobleman." Sebastian interrupted. With a glare, Ciel continued.

"You were looking at her like you would enjoy to partaking in shared intimacy." Ciel said, tightening his fingers sharply against Sebastian's for an extra point to be made. Once again, Sebastian softly chuckled.

"It's alright, young master. No need to worry about who I would enjoy entwining in sheets ; it would be you." Sebastian continued to gently kiss the fingertips and knuckles of his master. Ciel watched with a blush etched on his face.

"Don't say such things." Ciel scolded lightly, but he enjoyed it when Sebastian teased him with words. Even if the thought hadn't ever been considered realistically, he loved the idea that such a perfect form and skillful figure would be able to make him feel so good inside and out, with only just phrases out of his mouth.

Sebastian pulled his fingers and lips back from his hands - not without a soft whine from Ciel, of course – as the waitress came back for their drink order. "What would you like to drink, Earl Phantomhive?" She asked, placing her hands gently on her hips.

"Earl Grey tea, sweetened." Ciel said, tapping his fingers on the menu page. She nodded in acknowledgment, and she said, "And you, sir?" toward Sebastian.

"Water, please." Sebastian said, nudging Ciel's foot as he had forgotten his manners to say please and thank you. The waitress nodded, and she left to go place the order. "Sir, why do you insist on ordering others around that aren't under your command?" Sebastian asked, retaking Ciel's tapping fingers in his once more.

"Why should I? It's her job." Ciel said, looking over the menu and deciding on what to have. "She still is going to give me what I ask for, if I say please or not." He glanced a look at the butler, who was watching him in return.

"Obviously, you don't know what exactly waiters and waitresses do if you're not polite." Sebastian said lightly, looking down at his menu. He counted off the seconds before Ciel would ask in curiosity.

_1_

_2_

_3_

_4-_

"What do they do?" Ciel asked, interested.

"Oh, sir, you definitely are in deep with this one. You were quite rude." Sebastian said, enjoying the small game of teasing. Ciel turned concerned.

"What is it? Tell me, Sebastian!" Ciel said, leaning forward.

"I'm won't be surprised if she does it twice." Sebastian sighed, tsking and shaking his head.

"Tell me!" Ciel yawped, pulling on Sebastian's hand. "What will they do?"

"That's not any way to ask, is it?" Sebastian said, a small smirk tugging on the edge of his lips. "Perhaps I'll do it next meal that I make you, my Lord, ordering me around as well."

"Why won't you tell me!" Ciel whined, squeezing his hand. Sebastian just shook his head softly, not looking at Ciel. Ciel humphed, and he said, "_Please _tell me what they'll do!"

Sebastian smiled. "Ah, there it is." He teased. The butler leaned in slightly, and the master did the same. "If you aren't polite, they spit in your food." He whispered. Ciel's nose wrinkled in disgust.

"Nuh uh. They do not." Ciel said, sitting back up. Sebastian sat up again and pressed his lips together in a line, nodding with a straight face. Ciel watched him for a moment to try and detect any signs of lying, before he said, "Really?"

"Yes, it's silent retribution." Sebastian said, "Not many people know."

The waitress returned to the table, placing down the teacup for Ciel, the glass for Sebastian, and a bowl of sugar for Ciel to sweeten it to his heart's content. "Are you two ready to order?" She asked, taking out a notepad to write down the order.

"Yes." Ciel said, and when she nodded as a silent prompt, he said, "I'll have Brioche French Toast. _Please._" He added, getting a small nod of approval from Sebastian.

The waitress scribbled down his order, and then looked at Sebastian. He shook his head. "Nothing for me." The waitress smiled and nodded.

"I'll have your order out when it's ready." She said to Ciel, and she sauntered off toward the kitchen.

**((AN: Thank you guys so much for reading and reviewing. Keep it up, keeps me motivated!))**


	4. Chapter Three

Sebastian watched her for only a moment before he looked back over to Ciel, who was piling sugar into his teacup. He only stopped him when the actual tea was threatening to spill over the china. He claimed Ciel's hand with his own gloved one, pulling it away from the sugar bowl. Ciel protested.

"Sir, you're not going to want to drink it if it's too sweet." Sebastian said, taking the spoon away from him.

"There is no such thing as-" The earl switched his voice to mock Sebastian, only teasing, "-too sweet."

"There is _one _thing that is too sweet." Sebastian said, placing the spoon back in the sugar bowl and taking the dish away completely. Ciel's eyebrows embowed.

"Yes, which is what?" Ciel asked.

Sebastian gave a sly grin. "You." He said tenderly, kissing the area between his knuckles. Ciel's face got red, a sight that Sebastian loved to see. He traced a finger over the red cheek of the earl.

"You tease me." Ciel said, looking away from Sebastian's softly smirking face.

"Oh, but it's true. Teasing but true." Sebastian said, gently pinching his chin before letting go of it, pulling back as the waitress came back with a plate.

When she set it down, it was definitely _not_ what Ciel had ordered. It was- "Catfish. Steamed catfish." Sebastian said, and raised an eyebrow at the waitress. "Ma'am, this isn't what was ordered." He said polietly.

"Yes, I know! It's courtesy of the table of young ladies over there." She said. Ciel was able to get a good view of the nametag, which read Dorthy. "They ordered it for you, free of charge." Dorthy added.

Ciel looked over at the women, watching them. He was sure he hated them, and every single one in the entire world that called themselves so. As far as he was concerned, he would name them all Jezebel.

"Hussies." Ciel mumbled, and Sebastian sent a soft scowl his way. Dorthy had left once more, leaving the two alone. Ciel kept his eyes on the harlots, and he grew angry each second at the flirtatious winks and kiss-blowing that came Sebastian's way. "I'll be right back." He said, and he slid out from the booth.


	5. Chapter Four

((**AN: Writing two or three chapters today to make up from the late one yesterday... sorry guys))**

"Young master!" Sebastian said, taking Ciel by the arm as he tried to walk past. Ciel's mouth came to a thin line as he pushed it off.

"You like them!" Ciel accused, smacking the butler's hand away. "You like the attention!"

"No, I don't, honestly." Sebastian said. He didn't want the earl to embarrass him – Or even worse, himself. Ciel's scowl increased.

"If you don't, then let me go over there." Ciel hissed through his teeth. Sebastian moved his hands to his lap, sighing.

"Alright, sir." Sebastian said, "But please, don't shame yourself." He added as a warning not to take it too far. Ciel rolled his eyes, and he moved to the harlot's table.

The blonde of the group smiled at him. Ciel took notice to how her makeup was smudged and looked a few days old, and she had syrupy gloss smeared over her lips. When he looked over all of them, he realized they all had that same appearance. "Awh, look, how sweet." The blonde said, and the darker brunette gave a giggle.

"No, it's cute." She said, and then got close to his face. "Aren't you just so adorable!" Her baby-voice made Ciel's ears bleed. _It's worse than Elizabeth's. _Ciel thought to himself, and the consideration of his ex-fiance didn't linger too long. But, that was durable.

"I don't think I know who I am." Ciel seethed, taking a small step away. "I'll have to ask you to _stop _flirting with that man. He's not interested."

The blonde gave a snort and then a laugh. "Oh, you're right, Darcell! He is adorable! Protecting his Daddy like that-"

"He is not my father, he is my butler." Ciel snapped. "And he's not looking for hussies like you."

Darcell giggled. "Oh, you're only a child. What would you know about adult things? Now, run along and play with your toys, little man." She pinched Ciel's cheek between her pointer finger and her thumb.

_**That **_was not durable.

Ciel smacked her hand away. "Get the fuck off of me." Ciel growled under his breath. "I don't care how many noblemen have received your repugnant 'gift' called sex. And I don't care how long you've been without properly being bathed or cleaned, and I don't care how long you can hold your breath to imbibe promiscuous mens' phallus. You keep your hands off of him, your eyes, and your fucking thoughts off of him." Ciel had gotten in her face every sentence. After a small moment of him staring at her in her face, he stood back up properly. "Now that that's said, you can resume speaking about your acquired immune-system deficiencies on where _your _father's dick goes." And with that, left the table.


	6. Chapter Five

Sebastian watched as the young earl slid in the booth across from him. "Well?" He prompted for him, prepared to have to come up with something to save Ciel's pride.

"Well, nothing." Ciel said. "I simply told them to keep away from you." He took a sip of his 'too sweet' tea, which had gotten lukewarm instead of hot like Ciel wanted.

"And you didn't shame yourself." Sebastian stated, and Ciel shook his head.

"No shame." Ciel said, and Sebastian softly smiled. He took Ciel's hand in his, lacing their fingers together. This time, Sebastian kept them laced, even as Dorthy came to place Ciel's plate down. Dorthy only glanced at their fingers, not saying anything respectfully.

"Here you go, sir." Dorthy said, placing down the silverware next to the plate of what he ordered. She looked at the untouched catfish, and asked, "Do you want me to take that from you?" Sebastian nodded, handing it over with his free hand. "Anything else for you two?"

"No, you're dismissed." Ciel said routinely, and Dorthy left their table. Sebastian sighed.

"You're very difficult." Sebastian said, and Ciel shrugged softly in return.

The rest of breakfast was like usual, flirting and talking together. It raised Ciel's moods; He had completely forgotten about Elizabeth and her letter. Sebastian was working on replacing her, not only for Ciel but for himself too. He knew the contract between the two would last for some time more, and he might as well get something out of it.

"Sebastian, what's next in my schedule?" Ciel asked, stepping out of the cafe. Sebastian snapped out of his thoughts of planning.

"Nothing, sir." Sebastian said, truthfully. Ciel frowned, turning to look at him.

"I thought you said I had a full schedule." The butler gave a sly, but lively smile, wordless. Ciel's realization hit him. "You're a liar!" He accused.

"I didn't lie." Sebastian said sweetly, "Your schedule is full."

"With what?!" Ciel snapped.

"You're spending your day with me. Your schedule is full; Full of me." Sebastian said, using his pointer finger to softly smooth out the crease between Ciel's eyebrows. He chuckled softly, trailing his finger to his cheek and gently cupped it before dropping his hand.

Ciel said, "This is about Elizabeth's letter, isn't it?" Sebastian sighed gently, before he nodded.

"Yes, it is." Sebastian said quietly, "You don't need her, What she had done was her decision." Ciel looked away from him, debating on going with him or not.

"Fine."

**((AN: Sorry it's short!))**


	7. Chapter Six

_**Ciel's Point of View**_

I had mixed feelings for my butler. I was enraged at him for lying to get me out of the manor. I was amiable for him for caring. I was apprehensive, but eager, to see what he had in store. The things I felt for my demon weren't of something I could easily explain, because there were no words or phrases I could use. But I could always try.

The Greeks had four words to describe love; _Agape, Philia, Storge, _and _Eros. Agape _is the word they would use to categorize the unconditional love. It's the word that Christians would use to describe how God loved them; unconditionally, wholly, even if mistakes are made. _Philia _is the phrase for virtuous love, for the love for someone or something based off of healthy and unhealthy choices, desires and needs, wants and urgency. _Storge _is used as in family or friends, the connection one feels between those who have been there for long periods of time, those through thick and thin. _Eros _is the love one feels for a physical touch, for passionate kissing and ardent strokes. For Sebastian, I felt all four.

Sebastian was the one to save me from myself, from my own purgatory, from the wrath of bestial human beings. Maybe he loved me from pity; if you can consider that he even felt love (since he claimed he feels nothing, not even sympathy). But, love is not a feeling, it's an ability. Even though I'm only a meal to him, maybe I mean much more. He doesn't help me as much anymore with the contact. What I mean by that is I can tell he loathes bringing me newspaper headlines and article clippings as I requested, as if he wants to drag out the contract length as much as possible. Could it be that me, a silly human being, could matter to him, a demon of great strengths?

It was an impossible idea, but there were many things that I believed were impossible that happened to have a sliver of a chance to come true. I didn't want to believe it, but I knew somewhere deep down in my heart, I believed so.

_**Sebastian's Point of View**_

I damned myself. I allowed the boy to slip past my own defenses and let him probe into the soft spots that held my feelings. All of my immortal life, I was taught to keep it all away, to stay silent until spoken to, and if I wasn't I would be beaten down until I did. That's how all of us were treated; You learned to deal with it, and everyone coped in their own way.

Every victim I was able to lay my hands on wanted the same thing; Fame. Money. To be known. And every time, I was able to have that sorrowful soul in less than a month. Working favors when you were this good looking wasn't hard. Pull a few strings, and currency was coming in.

But the boy was different. He didn't want fame, and he didn't want money. Even broken and hurt, at the bottom of the pile, he never wanted any of that. Revenge is what he wanted, and personally, I wanted a challenge. I already knew the answer to his first question of "Who," and I knew the second question of "Why". But I didn't want to spoil anything for him.

I was severely disappointed to realize that the young boy was already betrothed, and to make matters worse with Elizabeth. Everything about her was unsatisfactory for Ciel and myself. But for me, she was durable, and for Ciel she was as well. But the letter was completely unnecessary. Perhaps it was because what she saw was what she was getting; There was no inheritance money. Ciel treated her nicely, and I knew that he loved her, but I suppose she didn't want someone who wouldn't play her games of dressup and playing House when she was 11 years old.

I was glad that she had left. It gave me the chance to step in, and to show the young boy affection like I always wanted. I've hinted my emotions for Ciel, and he's the only one who has ever seen me express them (even if he told me to shut up and sit down, they were still there).

I wasn't about to let Ciel get away from me.


	8. Chapter Seven

"So, you're giving me choices." Ciel said, looking at the brochures in Sebastian's hand. The butler nodded, and Ciel took them, and began to shuffle through them. "McFarland's Varieties, Newsome's Grand Circus, Hypnotism at the Kinnaird Hall." Ciel read outloud. The young earl looked up at Sebastian's smiling face. "A ballad, a circus, or a hypnotism show. Really?"

Sebastian gave a laugh. "It's something different, sir." He said, gently patting the scowling earl's head. After a moment of looking through them all, Ciel finally handed over one to Sebastian. "What did you pick?" Sebastian asked.

"The circus." Ciel said. Sebastian gave a sweet smile.

"A child at heart." Sebastian commented, receiving an elbow to the stomach.

"Shut up." Ciel muttered, "I'm not a child."

"Then perhaps you'd like to see a concert then, hm? Or go to an art's museum?" Sebastian teased.

"No!" Ciel huffed. "We're going to the circus, if I'm a child or not." He crossed his arms over his chest. Sebastian gently pulled them apart.

"Don't fret, my love. I'm only teasing." Sebastian said. Ciel's face turned pink, looking away from him.

"Don't call me that, not in public." Ciel said, and Sebastian chuckled.

"That's the young master I know."

**-Fast forward-**

Ciel stood close to Sebastian, following the usher to their seats. He had bought ones close enough to the front row, where most of the nobles would be seated up in the top box-seats. Last minute tickets were always a pain.

"You may sit." Ciel told Sebastian, and he took a seat next to the earl. It was dark in the tent, which was different that the coming twilight that was outside. Ciel was slightly upset that he couldn't watch the sunset, but he promised himself he'd wake up extra early to see it rise the following morning.

Ciel listened to people chatter lightly, staying silent himself as he watched the floor being set up and have final preparations be situated for the acts. "Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls!" The ringmaster's voice boomed out, "Welcome to Newsome's Grand Circus, where you'll have the time of your life!"

"I doubt it." Ciel muttered under his breath, and received a gentle nudge from his butler.

The lighting changed to bright, having the crowd blink a few times to adjust. "Let's give a big welcome to Mona!" The ringmaster said, and Ciel watched as an elephant was walked out from the curtains. The young earl had never seen one before, and he watched Mona with awe, quite like a child.

Mona was dressed in bright neon colors that sparkled when the light hit it just right, her reins painted blue with darker blue feathers. On the saddle was a standing woman, her makeup and clothing matching Mona's. Ciel paid no attention to the woman, with her breasts practically popping out of the flimsy dress, like the men were. Rather, to Mona, and the horses that were being ridden around the ring.

Over the time the two spent together that evening, Ciel had seen all kinds of things; wolves, lions, tigers, zebras, elephants like Mona, tamers and clowns. He wouldn't mention it, but he was upset when the circus performance ended. Instead of taking him out, Sebastian lead him in the opposite direction, farther down the stairs. "Where are you going- Sebastian, Wha-"

Sebastian easily and gracefully hopped over the guardrail, and then reached up to pull the earl down to the sandy floor as well. "Shush." He said, placing a finger to Ciel's lip, before taking Ciel to the ringmaster.

"Ah, hello Earl!" The ringmaster greeted. To Sebastian, he said, "What may I do for you?"

"We spoke on the phone earlier." Sebastian said, reaching into the breast pocket of his coat and pulled out two slips of paper. "Sebastian Michaelis." He stated, and handed the paper slips over. The ringmaster nodded, taking them and examining the slips before stuffing them into his front pants pocket.

"Yes yes, of course. Follow me." The Ringmaster said, and lead the pair toward the curtain.

"Sebastian, what the hell is going on!" Ciel said, and Sebastian looked over at him.

"You've always wanted to see exotic animals, sir." Sebastian said. Ciel began to piece everything together, and turned out to be right when they stepped behind the curtain.


	9. Chapter Eight

The animals were lined up, fences giving them their own personal space. Ciel's eyes were wide in awe, touching the wooden fencing. The ringmaster watched for a moment, before he said, "You may pet them." Ciel looked up at Sebastian, who gave one nod, and then over at the zebras, the ones that were closest. He picked up the grass from one of the feeders, and he held it over the fencing for them. "The one closest to you is Nala, and the other one is Joseph." The ringmaster said.

"Nala is quite chubby." Ciel said, allowing Nala to take the grass from his hands.

"That's because she's pregnant." The ringmaster said with a smile. Ciel watched Nala as she ate, gently petting her neck and behind the ears. The earl fed Joseph as well, giving him a nice pet before moving on to the wolves.

Ciel picked up a hunk of meat from the bin for the 6 wolves. He pulled it apart for each of them, and he hand fed them. "Destin, Peter, Fiona, Nathan, Kira, and Sandra." The ringmaster said as he fed each one. Ciel liked Nathan the best; He was clearly alpha, and was the most beautiful with all white fur and gorgeous light blue eyes. The only part that wasn't white was a gray streak running down his front left leg.

The next animal Ciel fed was Mona. "What's the tiny elephant's name?" Ciel asked, able to get in the fencing with Mona and the tiny elephant to be close up. "Why is he so tiny?"

"His name is Randal, and because he's a baby." The ringmaster said. "You can ride Mona, if you'd like." Ciel almost – just almost – smiled in delight.

"I'd like that. Would you like to, too, Sebastian?" Ciel asked, looking up at the taller figure.

"If you want me to accompany you." Sebastian said sweetly, and Ciel nodded brightly. The ringmaster called for the tamer of Mona of which he called Ryton, and Ryton helped the two up on Mona's saddle. Ciel sat in the front and Sebastian in the back.

"Are you ready?" The ringmaster called, and Ciel nodded a little. When Mona began to walk, Ciel's hands clutched the saddle tightly. Sebastian wrapped his arms around his thin waist, holding him close. He kissed the top of his head.

"Having fun?" Sebastian asked him, resting his chin on the top of his head.

"Yes, very much." Ciel said, enjoying the sights from so up high. Sebastian chuckled softly.

"You haven't smiled yet. What a shame." He whispered. Ciel only sighed, but didn't start a fight. He only enjoyed the hold Sebastian had on him, gently petting Mona's back as he appreciated the ride.

When they were able to get down, Ciel thanked Mona and Ryton, and moved on the pet the next animal. When they got to the big cats, Sebastian was the one to pet them instead of Ciel, who only fed them. Sebastian got inside of the fence with them, despite the ringmaster's asking. "Don't worry." Ciel said, "He's good with animals." Ciel was patient with Sebastian, not rushing him. It was the least the young earl could do.

After thanking the ringmaster, the tamers, and the animals, Ciel and Sebastian were on their way. Ciel was planning on going home and sleeping, but like always, Sebastian had other ideas.

**((AN: Thanks to everyone supporting the fanfiction and reading it, I appreciate it so much! Might do a side yaoi of SebaCiel for all of you as a treat to all the good reviews and many readings. Hugs and kisses to you all!))**


	10. Chapter Nine

"Close your eyes, young earl." Sebastian said, and after a huff from Ciel, he obediently closed his eyes. Sebastian took his small hands and lead him up the dirt path up the hill, being careful with him. When they reached the top, Sebastian spread out a blanket for them, and then told him to sit. Ciel, eyes closed, did as told, feeling the material with his hands.

"Can I open my eyes now?" Ciel asked eagerly, and Sebastian chuckled.

"No, not yet." The butler said softly, taking out the small box. Inside, was a piece of cake, and ontop of the cake was a ring for Ciel. It was something small, only an emerald, but it was from the heart. "Now you may open them."

Ciel opened his eyes, blinking a few times, before looking at the box in Sebastian's outstretched hand. "You can sit." Ciel said, taking the box. He opened it, setting the box in his lap as he carefully took off the ring. "What's this for?"

"Just a gift." Sebastian said simply, taking off his tailcoat and setting it aside before sitting down. "I hope you like it. I didn't know what to pick." He helped Ciel push it onto his thumb, the one opposite of the family loom.

"Thank you, Sebastian." Ciel said, appreciating it with his eyes before he climbed into Sebastian's lap with the piece of cake and fork. "I like it."

"I'm glad." Sebastian held his waist in his arms, holding him close against himself. "I hope you enjoy the cake, too. I didn't make it personally." He kissed the top of his head. Ciel took a bite of it.

"I like it." He said, resting his cheek against his chest. Ciel quietly ate the cake, listening to Sebastian's heart beat. About halfway through the cake, he asked, "Sebastian?"

"Yes, sir?" Sebastian said, pulling back a little to look at him.

"How human are you?" Sebastian softly chuckled at the question, pulling him close once more.

"I have a human body." Sebastian said. "But unlike you, I'm missing two things. A soul," He gently pressed his finger against Ciel's chest, "And feeling." He moved his finger to the center of Ciel's forehead, and gently pressed there.

"But you say you love me." Ciel stated. "Does it mean you're lying?"

"Can I ask you a question?" Sebastian asked as he wrapped his arms back around his waist, and Ciel nodded. "You say you can't feel as well. Does it mean, respectfully sir, that _you're _lying too?"

Ciel was quiet for a moment in thought, before he said, "I only feel emotion for you." Sebastian smiled softly.

"Then that is your answer."


	11. Chapter Ten

Ciel opened his eyes to the closed curtains, closing them again after a moment. "Sebastian." He managed to whispered, his throat dry.

"Yes, my lord?" Sebastian asked, pulling the young earl closer to himself. Ciel had asked him to stay next to him for the night, and Sebastian complied easily.

"Tea." Ciel licked his lips softly, pulling the covers up from his stomach. He relaxed as he felt Sebastian get off the bed to fetch him the requested tea.

Ciel really didn't want to get up , anyways. He had a party to attend to, something that Sebastian pressed on and on for him to do for at least a month. It was about a month, too, since Elizabeth's letter. The earl had completely forgotten about it, even though it was still in the top-most drawer of his desk in the study. For some reason, it was if the Queen had become reluctant to give her guarddog work to do, as if she knew what Elizabeth had done. But, Ciel was thankful he didn't have to put his life in danger, because he had one more reason to be and stay alive; Sebastian.

Ciel always seemed to tag along with Sebastian. He had started getting up early to watch Sebastian clean and cook, to talk to him when he was eating, and even when the other three nuisances where catching ass from the butler Ciel seemed to be listening. It wasn't as if they hadn't noticed the change either, but they were too polite to say anything (and probably afraid to catch as from the butler).

The door opening relieved Ciel of his thoughts. "Here you are, young master." Sebastian said. Instead of the entire tea cart he had brought only one cup and a saucer. Ciel sat up with Sebastian's help, keeping the blankets pulled close as he took the saucer.

"Thank you." Ciel said, taking a sip. He frowned softly when he swallowed. "Weak. What is it?"

"Jasmine and honey, sir." Sebastian said.

"That's not what I meant. There's no _milk._" Ciel said. "Why?"

"Bard decided milk helped vegetation grow." Sebastian said lightly. Ciel's lip upturned.

"What kind of idiot..." Ciel muttered under his breath. After a sigh, the earl said, "Well, go fetch."

"I'm not a dog." Sebastian said, placing his hands on his hips.

"Yes, but you're my butler." Ciel said, "What I say goes."

"Oh but my lord, butlers don't _fetch._" Sebastian said. Ciel sighed.

"Are you really playing this game, Sebastian?" Ciel asked exasperated. Sebastian smirked softly in answer. "Fine. Get on your hands and knees."

Sebastian's smirk dropped. "Sir-"

"_Now_." Ciel demanded, and Sebastian lowered himself down to his hands and knees. "Now bark." Ciel enjoyed humiliating Sebastian at his own game. Very rarely was he given the opportunity, but when he was, he enjoyed it. After Sebastian gave a woof, Ciel gave a taunting smile and gently patted his head. "Good boy. Now, _fetch._" When Sebastian began to get up, the earl said, "Ah-ah-ah! On your hands and knees where you belong." Sebastian gave a scowl, and the young master repeated, "_Fetch._" The butler crawled, hands and knees, out of the room. "Don't forget to close the door!"

**((AN: Thank you guys so much for all the positive support!))**


	12. Chapter Eleven

"I'm not going." The first words Sebastian heard when he opened the study to 'fetch' the young boy to get him dressed for the ball. A soft sigh came from the butler a he shut the door behind him.

"Please, young master. Phantomhive's don't go back on their word." Sebastian said, and Ciel pushed the chair around to look across the desk at him.

"Don't you dare." Ciel said. "I'm not going because I don't want to." This brought a gentle smile.

"I'm sure there's more reason than just that." Sebastian said. "Is it beause of Eliza-"

"Don't even." Ciel said bitterly. "Don't even utter that name. No, it isn't because of that." The earl pushed himself back around with his foot against the desk. "I don't want to."

"You only have to go for an hour. Please, for me?" Sebastian lightly begged. There was silence from the chair for a dragging moment, before a little sigh was heard.

"I'll go." He said, and Sebastian smiled brightly.

"Fantastic. Now, let's get the young earl dressed, hm?"

**Fast Forward -**

"An hour. Only an hour." Ciel said, using Sebastian's hand to help himself of the carriage. "One single hour."

"As you wish, my lord." Sebastian said, shutting the carriage door and following the earl inside. Ciel realized that he knew little to no people, even but just glancing. A soft sigh escaped his lips.

_Maybe I can hide in a storage closet or something._ Ciel thought to himself, and he shifted through a particularly thick crowd to lose Sebastian. He knew that if he stood around, Sebastian would drag him to be social, and the earl hated that. He hated people, ignorant and naïve people. But, he was used to that. Everyone was like that to him, because they didn't know him, so anything they commented on was completely irrelevant to him. The only person who got a say so was his butler, and even he said nothing.

Ciel hummed a soft tune to himself as he looked for a place to sit or stand, to relax for the dreadful hour. He didn't need a watch; When the people began to slur, that's when Sebastian would find him and take him home because of the drunks. It was something Sebastian was able to control; Alcohol consumption. Something Ciel didn't even want to think about.

Ciel began to think about Sebastian. Just his persona and they way he was. All his thoughts were his butler. Some of them were even 'naughty'. He had seen Sebastian undress before, and shower. He loved it, him, his body, everything. He remembered the first time he saw Sebastian undressed.

But, Ciel's thoughts were interuppted by laughing.

High pitched laughing.

High pitched, annoying, enjoying laughing.

The earl took a small glance around, and he felt stabbed in the heart.

Elizabeth was with Alois.

_**((PLOTTWIST. I'm not gonna update until I get at least ten reviews total! So, read and review please))**_


	13. Chapter Twelve

Ciel knew that he should probably not stare. He should probably turn away and leave, to leave the two. But for some reason he couldn't. Part of him expected Sebastian to cover his eyes and pull him away like he would when there was gore involved in his cases. But this wasn't gore. It was reality, a reality that adults faced and now Ciel would have to do.

"Oh, Ciel!" Elizabeth called to the earl. Ciel gently jutted his jaw, going over to her motioning. "What a surprise to see you here!" She giggled sweetly. The young mistress stood close to the blond boy, her hands laced in his.

"Yes, hello Miss Midford." Ciel said coldly, and he looked to the taller boy. "Trancy." He acknowledged Alois with a curt nod. A soft smirk curled onto Alois's lips. He knew it bothered Ciel, seeing his exfiance in the arms of a man who could take care of her.

"No need to be so adulty, Ciel!" Elizabeth laughed, gently nudging his shoulder with no harsh intentions. "We're only here to enjoy the party, like you."

"Which dress matches those stockings, Phantomhive?" Alois asked, bringing his arm to wrap around Elizabeth's waist. Ciel only glanced at the blond boy for a moment, choosing to ignore the flamboyant male. _They're perfect for each other_. Ciel thought.

"I'm not being 'adulty'. I'm being a mature individual." Ciel retorted. "Besides, I thought you disliked Lady Hurst."

"I never said that! Maybe if you listen every once and a while. Sebastian cleans your ears, I know that." Elizabeth giggled sweetly.

"That's not the only thing Sebastian does to Phantomhive." Alois smugly pulled Elizabeth a little closer.

"What my butler does is none of your business." Ciel said, talking to Elizabeth rather than the insulting child. "Besides, I do listen. Like when I bought those presents. I got you what you wanted."

"From when I was like, five." Elizabeth took a sip of her drink, finishing it.

"You see, earl, you don't know what a woman wants, what a woman needs, what a woman _desires_." Alois kissed Elizabeth's forehead. "Isn't that right, babe?" Elizabeth blushed.

"Alois Trancy! Don't say things like that in public, in front of my exfiance." She scolded. A soft smirk came from Alois. "Why don't we go get some fruit punch?"

"Let the men talk, darling." Alois said.

"But-"

"Shut up." Alois snapped, looking at her. Elizabeth shut her mouth immediately, looking away from his baby blue eyes.

"Don't talk to her like that." Ciel said bitterly, and Alois laughed.

"Oh Ciel, you and Elizabeth are the same on only one occasion; You both take things like a bitch." Alois grinned at him cutely. Elizabeth looked up at him, a fierce look clouding her usually care-free look. But nothing came from her, only silence.

Ciel hesitated to answer. He didn't want to feed into the fire, because he knew Alois would cause a scene and embarrass him. And Alois didn't have a reputation to ruin, not with a mouth like that. He chose his words wisely, avoiding anything to start another destructive path.

"Funny coming from you, considering your childhood." Ciel trailed off to let Elizabeth's imagination go wild, but he knew Alois knew. Elizabeth had no idea about Trancy's past, but the young earl knew about it quite well.

"You know Ciel, I feel bad for you being an orphan. But not for your parents." Alois hissed through his teeth. That basically kicked Ciel in his teeth. "Maybe your butler can say hi to them in Hell for me?" The young earl jutted his jaw, his lip thin and his fists clenched.

"Don't talk about my parents. Don't even mutter their fucking name." Ciel said coldly, "Or I'll-" and this brought a smile to Alois's face.

"Oh? What will you do? You never do anything, Ciel! You get your damn butler to do it for you." Alois said, "Maybe you should be the grown up that you claim to be and take care of your own shit." Ciel was speechless. "Come on, Elizabeth." Alois snapped, and he pulled Elizabeth with him toward the food and drink area.

Ciel gritted his teeth, biting harshly on the inside of his cheek. He turned away from the walking couple, making his own way to the stairs to go upstairs.

* * *

Sebastian looked over heads and crowds of people, looking for his young master. He would rather not prod into his thoughts and locations, but he knew it was for the best, especially if the pervert Viscount was here as well. When he only softly entered his earl's thoughts, he was shocked at all of the tumbling emotion and thoughts. He couldn't make out one word.

Out of worriedness, he shifted to upstairs, calmly avoiding Faustus and his bratty master, Alois. He had seen Claude eyeing him from across the room and decided to ignore the bastard as best as he could for the evening. He strided down the hallway to the guest room, where the young earl sat on the edge of the bed. Sebastian was silent for a moment, Ciel not hearing the butler open the door.

Sebastian couldn't believe what he was hearing; The young earl _crying._

Ciel had his face buried into his hands, the eyepatch strewn on the floor as if it had been ripped off angrily. He would give a few soft sobs, then inhale deeply and shakily to sob again, each sob harder than the one before. Tears poured down his face, soaking the cuffs of his shirt in the salty tears. After a moment, Ciel ran a hand through his hair, pulling on it in distress.

He was angry, upset, hurt. He hated Alois, he hated Elizabeth, he hated everyone and anything. He was jealous, even though he wouldn't admit it. Why did a manwhore get a lovely lady, only a month after Elizabeth broke it off? It was unfair.

"Ciel?" Sebastian said softly, closing the door. Ciel looked up, wiping his watery eyes.

"Go out." Ciel snapped, his voice wavering. Sebastian chuckled softly, only gently. He sat down on the edge of the bed beside the boy.

"You say to leave, but your emotion say to stay." Sebastian kissed his forehead. Ciel responded after a moment before he wrapped his arms around his neck, moving his face to the crook of his neck. The butler pulled him into his lap, holding him protectively against his chest.

Ciel tried to be silent, tried to stop crying and be neutral like usual. He placed a hard look on his face, convincing himself to stop being a little 'bitch'. Sebastian rubbed his back, coaxing him to let it all out. "Perhaps, I'm not an adult." Ciel said quietly, and Sebastian smiled lightly.

"Adults become upset too." Sebastian said, running a hand through Ciel's blue locks. "All humans cry." He coaxed. Ciel sniffled, before giving another soft sob against his chest.

"I'm such a child!" Ciel cried, "Alois was right!"

"I doubt so." Sebastian said, rocking the young boy. "What did Alois do?" Ciel told him everything, every detail, every emotion and every thought. Sebastian listened, nodding when appropriate. He cooed Ciel silently, kissing his forehead and his nose to his chin.

There was a light pause when Ciel finished, that Sebastian said, "May I propose an idea?" When a nod was given, Sebastian said, "Maybe you are still in love with Lady Elizabeth."


	14. Chapter Thirteen

"I'm not in love with her!" Ciel said, looking at him. Sebastian only gently pressed Ciel's cheek against his chest again, stroking his cheek and hair.

"Then why did you not walk away when she said your name?" Sebastian asked calmly, running his slender fingers through his strands.

"I was being polite." Ciel said, letting his eyes fall shut to the rythem of Sebastian's stroking.

"The young earl is not known for being polite to those he does not love." Sebastian said softly. Ciel punched his chest playfully, Sebastian giving a soft oof, kissing the top of his head. "It is accurate, my master."

"I was polite to you." Ciel said, opening one eye to look at him. He had a headache, pounding on the front of his head from the crying.

"Ah, but only recently my lord." Sebastian said, pulling Ciel's head close to his chest. He stroked down his cheek to wipe off any vagrant tears.

"I didn't mean to show her affection and attention." Ciel said, shutting his open eye. "I didn't want to. I only want her gone."

"I can see through you, my lord. '_The eyes are the window to the soul.'_" He said, quoting Elizabeth's letter. "But I can see much more." Sebastian gently tugged off the eyepatch from the young boy's face. "I can see to your every thought, your every dream, your every opinion that you believe is the right way. You are mine. You have always been mine, and always will be."

"That isn't true." Ciel began to protest, but Sebastian's finger silenced him.

"I hear your every word, your every breath, every sigh, and I can see every struggle, every pain and every tear. I can taste every kiss, feel every hug, and touch every imperfection." His hand moved to gently touched the branding mark on his ribs. "You are mine, Ciel Phantomhive, forever until the day the world stops turning, when the last rose dies, when the gods return for their worshipers, when the prey turns into the predator. I am yours, and you are mine, and no person, no imbecile, no any one thing, can take that. I will be loyal to your every wish, obey your every command, wipe every speck of dirt on your shoes for you. All I ask in return is your loyalty to the relationship that we have created as, not two parts, but as a whole. Can I trust you on that, Ciel?"

In response was silence for a hesitating moment. Sebastian watched the young boy's still and perfect face. The earl was thinking, deeply and completely.

"There is only one problem with your asking and your opinion." Ciel said after a long dreary silence. Sebastian quirked an eyebrow as a prompt for the boy. "It was not fate to pull us together, but rather a contract. Perhaps you've forgotten that the waiting for my soul is coming to an end? I'm only in a fingertips graze from the answer, from the revenge that I'm been thirsty for for all my life that I have lived to this day. Your words have no meaning when I am owing my soul to a demon who believes he cannot feel." The young boy sat up a little more, his eyes still shut.

"I decide what I want to do after the contract is fulfilled, and using the judgment I have accumulated over the centuries of useless wandering and taking of pitiful, easy souls, I can make the correct decision on what I want to happen to you. Perhaps I do not want to devour your soul when the time comes, rather keep it as my own personal possession. Or perhaps, I'll allow you to walk away unscathed. It only depends on the answer that you choose to give from the question I asked. So, I will ask again. Will you maintain your complete loyalty to the relationship that we have made together as a whole?" Sebastian asked again.

"Yes, Sebastian."

"Thank you, Ciel."

**((Omg! Sorry for the wait, school started and everything!))**


	15. Chapter Fourteen

_**((Psst, If you're really religious and don't agree with people disagreeing with Christianity, don't read! Doesn't have anything in the plotline, just a break from all the excitement!))**_

_Ciel's Point of View_

I'm going too far. I'm pushing the limits of what's right and what's wrong, what I believe in and what I don't. I never asked for any of this, any of the pain or hurt that I've experienced throughout the two years. I never asked for Sebastian, either, even though I enjoy his company for the last few months or years of my life.

What I had said was true. Without the help of anyone else, I have found the last few people who have been linked to the fires that not only I, but others has suffered through and have not been as lucky as I to receive a companion. Revenge will be sweet if their ears carry the news, but the taste will be tainted with bitter for myself. It would mean the ending of my own life to save future victims; and my life is not something I can continue living if it's torn by the memories of my experiences. But nonetheless, I am afraid of death. Death, that is, by removal of the acerbic soul that dwells in me. No gun, no knife, and no poisons can give me the dread that I feel when I reflect on my decisions. Never do I regret my choices, but I feel that if I was given a second chance I would deal with things a different way than making it harder for not only myself, but Sebastian as well. I was already given a second chance when I sold my soul, and I don't believe I deserve another one by being able to "walk away unscathed".

I don't think that any god would give me two second chances, like Sebastian would. I have already turned my back from the light, but to look at a light with different perspectives. I am not blind, but rather I have a different source of seeing which is reality. It becomes painfully realistic when the faith you had in a being that was greater than yourself decides no longer to consider you as their own, that your life and fate become another back story in the ongoing turning of time. Perhaps the loneliness that these religious people claim the non-believers feel is really the idea that no other person, being, or force would take you under their wing to raise you in the way of critical thinking and logical seeing. I do not believe that any "fallen angels" (Sebastian hates it when I call him that.) are actually evil as they claim, rather they take a different route into feeding; Souls and the fear of the believers. Perhaps this is why I don't feel the same uneasiness as any visitor feels when Sebastian is near, because I understand the factor of my fear is generated by their presence, and I am not one to give people what they want so easily.

When I lost my faith in God is when Sebastian made the contract with me. No god would allow such a horrid fate and destiny to happen to a child, one without mistakes. I used to blame myself; Maybe if I hadn't lied, or maybe if I hadn't wanted something I couldn't have. But after a while I began to realize it was much much more than just the simplistic things that had angered any god there was, and I had prayed every night and day and between sessions and during rest days and any meal that I was given that I would be saved from a dreadful Hell on earth. But none was given, even when I promised my everlasting faith. I knew weeks in advanced I was going to be branded with a mark, and I don't mean the one on my eye. I was treated like an animal since the first day of my arrival, humiliated, beaten down every single day until I bled and was raw. On every other Wednesday I was given a resting day, which was mostly spent cleaning up myself and clearing infections. The more I protested, and the less I screamed , the less my meals were and the more rare they became. No human, no animal, no anything should be treated with the cruelty I suffered.

No god would allow this to happen.

I remember the exact moment I lost all faith. My throat was ripped raw from the screams and the yelling, and I was force to watch the pattern held over the fire until the metal was white hot. Tight grip held my hands above my head and my legs downward, no clothes covering my body. I watched as they told me this was the best way to get rid of sins and to clense my body, how God would want this to happen to me. I braced myself for pain, and experienced even worse than what I could manage. They even expected me to apologize for my sins, though I had done none except do their every want and desire. And that's when I said it.

"I have lost all my faith is God!" I never really thought about what I was saying. It just kind of came out, in a screaming, shrill voice. Perhaps that is when I lost my innocence to the world around me, rather than the past events in those months. Nonetheless, it was enough to call attention to Sebas, in which after I was better to speak and talk, made the contract with. The contract has two parts: a, find out who killed my parents, and b, take revenge by killing them myself.

Of course this was going to take longer than a month. I didn't want riches or fame, because when the only Phantomhive left appeared once more, all the wealth from my parents that was salvaged would be placed in my name, and the fame was incredible.

The difference between me and the common wanters?

I has an idea about what I was getting into.


	16. Chapter Fifteen

_**((AN: What happens in the next few chapters doesn't happen in the anime/manga, so no flame please! Read and review please!))**_

The shadows blanketed Britain in a thick, molasses night. The pair of master and butler stood together, looking up at the large manor. Tonight was the night, and Ciel was not going to hesitate.

"Are you sure you want to do this, my lord?" Sebastian asked softly, quietly, not to disturb the silence that accompanied the night. He placed a caring hand on Ciel's shoulder, but the young earl pushed it off with a tch.

"Are you second guessing me, Sebastian? Already the contract is coming to an end and yet you are reluctant to let me do what I must." Ciel looked over with a cold expression. "Tonight is the night revenge must be taken, no matter how many lives are taken."

"Surely you don't mean that." Sebastian said, watching the earl with a curious visage. "You know Miss Middford is asleep as well in the manor."

"Every life, or perhaps the one that deserves its fate." Ciel said bitterly. "Revenge is a dark thing, and no one will get in my path to quench the thirst for retaliation." Sebastian opened his mouth to speak, but Ciel silenced him with another sentence, quoting his butler. "Together by my side, through the lowest regions of Hell. Are you going to keep your promise, Sebastian?"

A smirk lit up Sebastian's face.

"Yes." The butler said.

Ciel used one hand to untie the back of the eyepatch, allowing it to fall on the ground without movement to pick it up. "Do not let anything or anyone disturb me. That is an order." Ciel felt the soft sting of the mark as a light glow showed from it. The smirk on the butler's face widened.

"Yes," He bowed at the waist, "My lord."


	17. Chapter Sixteen

Ciel shifted up through the window, his fingers raw and bleeding from prying it open without his butler's help. He shut it quietly, before he looked at the king sized bed in the middle of the room. Moonlight streamed across the white blankets, and trailed off to the other side of the medium sized room. Ciel let his eyes adjust, before he wandered quietly to the side of the bed. His fingers felt the soft fabric, rubbing it between his two fingers as he looked at the small lump in the midst of the blankets. It rose and fell rhythmically, in indication the slightly older boy was asleep.

Ciel took a soft inhale. He moved to the other side of the bed to see the boy's face. Blond hair was spread out across the pillow, and the pale face was buried under the blanket that was pulled up over his face. Only the closed eyes were visible.

The earl was quiet, crawling up onto the bed to straddle the hips of the boy. Alois stirred, turning onto his back with a yawn. "Oh, Lizzie?" He rubbed an eye, opening them. His eyes took a moment to adjust before he looked up at the blue haired boy. A frown took place of the loving smile. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I'm finishing the game." Ciel said, his fingers gently tracing Alois's cheek. "Don't you remember? The game of two pyromaniacs." He tilted his head a little, tapping Alois's nose.

"Is this about your bloody parents?" Alois asked, and when Ciel didn't respond in time he let out a laugh. A loud, long laugh. "Oh Ciel, so young and little in the world of adults!" He giggled.

"I'm not little." Ciel snapped.

"Ciel, Ciel, Ciel." Alois cooed tauntingly. "If you really wanted me dead, you would've done it already." He shifted slightly under the earl's weight.

"Oh no, I don't want to kill you this way, with you asleep. See, there's a difference between me and you, Alois." Ciel said, trailing his fingers down to Alois's neck. "When that fire started, I was able to escape because I was awake, alive, and conscious. But you? You're going to feel the pain and humiliation of dying." Alois's eyebrow's furrowed together.

"Claude!" He yelled, but Ciel was quick in responding. He made his right hand into a fist, and drove it right into Alois's pale neck. Not enough to do actual damage, but enough to make the butler's name cut in half.

"Alois, Alois, Alois." Ciel gave a deathly grin. "If you really wanted me dead, you would've done it already." He hissed, and he wrapped his hands around the bruising neck. He put pressure, and he got a satisfaction from watching the blond boy realize what was happening.

Alois reached his hands to Ciel's hair, pulling on it hard. Ciel gritted his teeth, leaning onto his hands a bit more. The blond used enough force to turn over so Ciel was on the floor, and Alois was on the bed. He gave a cough, gasping for air, but didn't waste time to wrestle against Ciel again. He fisted Ciel's hair, holding his head down as he mercilessly dug his knees into Ciel's ribs with his weight. A loud cry came from the blue haired boy, squirming under him. He didn't want to die like this either, considering he knew the sadistic blond would not be quick about it.

"Beg for mercy, Phantomhive." Alois said bitterly as the bottom left bone of the ribcage gave in. Ciel gritted his teeth, moving his hand to dig his nails into the side of Alois's neck. Deep red blood began to sweep from the scratch wound, and when Alois paused to feel it, the earl pulled Alois over again so he was on top.

Ciel's ragged breathing rang in his ears as he used both of his hands in Alois's hair, beginning to bring the blond's head directly into the leg of the bedtable. Alois saw stars, grasping the young lord's shirt. He pulled him down, the eyebrow area of Ciel's left forehead smashing into the corner of the bedtable. Tears pricked in the boy's eyes, blinded by the blood that poured down his face and into his eyes.

Alois stood up from the more injured male, and he pulled off the heavy kerosene lamp from the nightstand. He spat bloodied saliva on Ciel. "This time, I won't miss." He hissed as he brought it up above his head.

Ciel closed his eyes, relaxing. There wasn't any escaping this, and Ciel somehow anticipated this. Mental goodbyes rang through his ears. _Goodbye Queen Victoria, goodbye Meyrin, goodbye Bard, goodbye Finni, goodbye Sebastian, goodbye Elizabeth._


	18. Chapter Seventeen

"Alois, no!"

Ciel's eyes opened, looking up at his attacker. Not only was there one blond, but two.

"Elizabeth, go back to your room." Alois snapped, pushing away the young girl's hands off of his. "Let the adults talk."

"You can't murder my ex-fiance!" Elizabeth retorted, "Not in front of me!" She was the only thing standing between Ciel and Alois, and the short girl had fire in her eyes. Ciel had seen Elizabeth angry before, and she got her way no matter what.

"Then you can either leave, or I can deal with you before I deal with Phantomhive." Alois barked at her bitterly. Ciel shifted slightly to be on the right hand side of Alois to see what exactly was going on. Ignoring Alois, Elizabeth turned to face Ciel.

"Ciel, I was wrong to end our relationship! I'm dreadfully sor-" Her sentence was cut short, licking her lips gently before she collapsed to the wooden floor. The kerosene lamp was broken, blood seeping and staining the blonde's golden locks that flowed freely. The earl looked back up at Alois, who's eyes were gleaming with a murderous look.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Ciel snapped, using the bedtable to get up.

"I hate it went she gets so, sentimental. Didn't you, Phantomhive?" Alois dropped the kerosene shards. "Well now we don't have to hear any more bitching." He kicked her aside, away from the bed, looking over at Ciel. "Where were we?"

"We were at the point where I was about to kill you." Ciel bitterly said, getting a laugh and a snort from Alois.

"Keep dreaming, Phantomhive." The blond grinned. "I'll tell you what; I'll give you one good shot. Anywhere you'd like." Trancy spread his arms out. "I'll just stand here and you give me the best hit you can."

"Cockiness will be the death of you." Ciel said, watching Alois.

"I doubt that, Ciel. Unlike you, I actually did things in my life, I actually wiped my own ass." Alois rolled his eyes. "Perhaps we're all a little needy, but I wasn't as much as you."

"You always seem to compare me to you." Ciel said, tilting his head a little. "But there is one thing you keep forgetting." Alois's eybrows rose, in curiousness.

"And that is what?"

"I'll have to send your family condolences." Ciel said, and before Alois could react, Ciel came close enough to touch the lit match to Alois's kerosene lit hands. The fire spread over the pale skin, trailing down to lick up every inch of drenched clothes. The earl stood back, watching as the frightened blond tried desperately to put the fire out.

"You motherfucker!" Alois spat, his voice becoming louder with screams and cries as the fire boiled away the blood and peeled away the skin. Ciel looked away, stepping out of the way to kneel beside the half alive Elizabeth.

"Ciel." Lizzie's voice softly rang in Ciel's ears, louder than the agonizing cries of Alois as he looked for something to douse the fire.

Ciel sighed softly, gently closing her eyes with his hand. "Perhaps Sebastian was right; I am in love with you." He murmured, gently kissing her forehead. Half of the kissing mark was stained in his blood, red and dark. He held her hand in his, soothing and comforting as death overtook the young girl.

The earl didn't cry, but he didn't feel either. All there was was a numb abyss that filled his mind and soul. Death was such a pitiful thing to him, something he knew he should be able to get over. But everytime he grew accustom to the worse things in life, Sebastian would fix it and make it better, creating him into another soft bed until another horrible event. It was a never ending cycle of pain and hurt, that eventually he was numb to.

After dreadfully long moments after Elizabeth's death, Ciel quietly pulled her corpse onto the bed. He stroked her hair out of her peaceful-looking face, pulling the white blankets up to cover her cooling body. He planted a soft kiss onto her cheek, stroking it gingerly before he looked over at the burning body. The fire was dying down, the charred Alois unstirring in a sign of death. The earl was disgusted at the sight, but he didn't move him.

"Sebastian." Ciel said exhaustively, the hurt and stinging of his wounds coming to his senses. Sebastian didn't arrive immediately, but soon after. His cheek was scratched and his clothing was torn, but besides the dark blood, he was in one piece.

"It is done, my lord." Sebastian said, bowing at the waist. He didn't ask about the mess, or the wound, or anything; he left it alone to simmer inside the earl.

"That's that then." Ciel said quietly, looking up at the butler. Now he was nothing more than a human child, and Sebastian was nothing more than a demon. Ciel was at Sebastian's mercy, the lamb being hunted by the lion instead of being sheltered. The game of cat and mouse was concluding, and the future of the young one was clouded in dark nothingness. A soft smile lit up Sebastian's face.

"But yet the story is not finished." The demon said, standing once more. "The writer still has control of the pen, only the author has changed. No longer are you in custody of your fate, Ciel."

"Take my soul, then!" Ciel said. "Don't play these mind games with me!" A gentle chuckle left Sebastian's lips.

"But why would I do that when you have so much of a story to tell, hm? The last Phantomhive without a betrothed, no name to carry on, no enemies to conquer. Fame and fortune is now at your begging call, and now none of it is pleasing to you?"

"I never wanted fame or fortune. That is not, and was not the goal of the contract that was formed. I've sold my soul for a purpose, and my purpose is fufilled." Ciel said, looking away from Sebastian's smirking gaze. "No longer do I have meaning in this world!"

An ungloved finger pressed against the busted lip of the boy. "You don't have to need to speak, Ciel. I can hear you, you don't need to talk." Sebastian said, and he tilted Ciel's chin up to look at him.

"Then why do I need to explain myself to you? You tease me! Asking me questions that I have no answer!" Ciel said. "Why can't you just end all of this, right here and now!"

"We've been over this before." Sebastian said with a slight frown. "Your loyalty is failing miserably; you do not trust me and my actions. As I said before, I don't want to devour your soul when I mustn't, I have two at my disposal." He gestured to the bed, and then the figure on the floor. "Do not tempt me with your petty excuses. Stop talking." Ciel shut his mouth, which was open to retort. The butler kissed Ciel gently, only a momentary kiss.

"Now, shall we begin to finish our business?"'

_**((Coming to an end everyone! Read and review!))**_


	19. Chapter Eighteen

Ciel bent over the side of the road, giving a loud reatch before the remains of his last meal poured from his mouth and into the grass. Sebastian gently rubbed his back, holding back the long bangs to prevent them from being vomit-drenched. This was the fourth time they had to stop walking, exhaustion and post-trauma catching up to the boy. He refused to be picked up to be carried, but Sebastian would let him figure it out himself. The demon was quite impatient to get to their location, because he would teach Ciel a lesson.

When the boy stood and wiped his mouth, he stumbled softly. An ungloved hand caught him by his arm, holding him steady. The stubborn earl pushed off the hand, but only to receive a tsch from Sebastian. He picked up the exhausted earl, despite the protests. "Stop talking." Sebastian said sternly, and Ciel shut his mouth and stored away all his complaints.

"Where are we going, Sebastian?" Ciel asked after a few minutes of being carried. His chin rested on his shoulder, eyes closed and face pressed against the crook of his neck.

"Somewhere familiar." Sebastian said simply, his voice silk smooth and soft, sweet, talking as if Ciel was a child. In reality, that's all he was now; No ambition and no knowledge of anything besides what Sebastian allowed him to see,

The minutes felt like hours to Ciel, each step making the pit in his stomach grow larger and larger. He had no idea what the demon would do; He had no power now. There was no contract anymore, only the pathetic kindness that lingered somewhere in Sebastian.

"Here we are." Sebastian said after what seemed like a year. Ciel opened his cobalt eyes, looking up at the dark, cloudy sky. There were no trees, no hills, not anything other than a flat plateau. Sebastian set the boy down, who wandered to the edge of the plateau. Dark waters crashed into the side of cliff, sharp and jagged rocks at the base. Ciel watched the foaming water for a moment, before he stepped back away from it. He looked around, turning in a circle. A small sliver of a foundation peaked through the ground. Suddenly, he remembered.

"This Is the place our bond was made." Ciel said, looking over at the ex-butler, who resided a few feet away from Ciel. "White Cliffs of Dover."

"Yes, that is correct." Sebastian said, looking out at the waters. "Surprising close to the Trancy residence. Only a few miles." He enjoyed the view for a moment before his gaze locked with the earl's.

"Why here?" Ciel asked suddenly. "Why in a place that contains the pain and memory of a life before us?"

"I don't understand your question, earl." Sebastian said, "Why what?" He tilted his head slightly.

"Why are we finishing our business contract in this place? Why not in a comforting location, like the manor or even in an ally or _something._"

Sebastian laughed softly. "You've forgotten, for you there is no comforting place. Even inside your own home, your very parents were burned until death. In the town, you remember every path you've taken to the stores, the feeling of your mother's hand in yours. Every sweet you taste, every candy placed in your mouth, you pretend as if your mother was the one to make it. You pretend it's your father dressing you for bed, and your mother to kiss you goodnight. Your thoughts are not unheard and your actions are not unseen. Two years have taught me a lot about you, Ciel, because you are not that hard to read. You're like an open book; Not many want to read it, and not many can; but those who do and will see the meaning like that." He snapped his fingers for extra point.

A frown clouded Ciel's face. "You don't know me. You never will. You always act like you know everything, but you don't." He accused. "If you know so much, then, tell me something." When Sebastian's eyebrows raised in a prompt, he continued. "Why was I left in the dark?"

Sebastian said, "That's quite an easy question. You see, you have what most of your kind don't; Logical reasoning. You always questioned things in an adult manner, and as a child He does not quite like that. Punishment and cleansing was needed in the eyes of the angelic, but one cannot punish a child that has done no wrong. The people who have taught you the ways were your parents, and therefore they were the one cleansed. But alas, that does not easily stop a thinker. That is why you were left in the dark."

"But Ash wasn't the one to do it." Ciel pointed out. "We already got rid of him, but yet the contract was not fufilled, so my soul was not yours for the taking."

"This is a tricky part, I suppose." Sebastian said, "But I'll leave it as this; _Damnata sunt, et Dominus monet et facere ultionem_." He shifted to Ciel. "People are the condemed; but the Almighty instructs the doing and the punishment."

"What the hell does that even mean?" Ciel spat, "I want answers, not riddles!" A soft chuckle escaped Sebastian's lips, gently kissing his forehead.

"I'm going to play god for a moment, earl." Sebastian said, and he guided Ciel to the side of the cliff. "You can have two options, considering I know how afraid you are of me now that you have no control." Ciel looked over the cliff's edge.

"And what are those two things?" Ciel asked.

"You can stay here, and one of two things could happen; I would either take your soul as painful as possible, or I would keep you to be damned forever in the fate that is sealed as my own." Sebastian held up one finger. "Or, you could jump, and one of two things could happen: I would allow you to fall until your death, something you caused, or I would save you." He held up a second finger. "Now, the difference between me and any god is that I'm allowing freewill. So, pick your poison."

Ciel looked out over the edge of the white cliff, down at the foaming water and the black rocks that looked menacing. He then swallowed and looked over at Sebastian, who was watching him from a few feet away. He bit his lip a little, and he made his decision.

The earl walked off the edge.


	20. Chapter Nineteen

There were no thoughts as the young boy was carried quickly down the white cliff edges. His eyes were shut tightly, allowing the sea-salt wind to tingle his bare skin with sloppy, wet kisses. He let out a breath, and inhaled another, and his last, thoughtless breath.

Instead of hitting the hard rocks like planned, the earl had drifted into the foaming water; the channel's water ice against his skin. A burning sensation lapped at the exposed skin from hitting the surface. The cobalt eyes opened at the dark blue that surrounded him, glancing at the white bubbles to see how far down he was. Wasn't too far considering the approximate hundred meter drop.

The young earl had two decisions now. He could swim to the top and climb onto the rocks, and successfully create a loophole through Sebastian's plan. But this involved surviving, and Ciel didn't have anyone to return home to. His second decision would be to get his death over with, and swallowing the channel's water, causing him to drown. But this would involve dying, and Ciel was having second thoughts about that.

Ciel looked around, deciding to let his fate choose for him. The water closer to him was more of an aqua green color, and the farther it got the darker it was. Moonlight trickled into the water, causing white patterns on his pale skin. The clothes felt heavy, as if they were dragging him down farther and farther into the dark abyss. Ciel let out a little bit of air through his nose, turning his head to look at a floating weed. His lungs were beginning to ache and hurt. _Perhaps it's a test, an angelic test to see if I turned to the light._ Ciel thought, blinking and looking up toward the surface.

The ache began to build, spreading from his lungs to his stomach and limbs. Ciel watched the waves pulse over the surface. There was a small conscience telling him to swim to the top, to take a deep breath and to enjoy the freedom he had. But there was an even smaller part of him, a small part at the bottom of his dark and hateful heart; it told him Sebastian would take care of it.

A scoff nearly left Ciel's mouth. As far as he was concerned, Sebastian no longer wanted part of him; He would take his soul and be done with the Phantomhive name. He had put Ciel in danger too many times, and this was the last of those times. _If Sebastian really knew me, he wouldn't have given me that option._ Ciel thought bitterly. But another thought came to his mind a few short moments later; _Sebastian was testing my loyalty._

Ciel knew his decision; He wanted to live. He wanted to prove to Sebastian that even in the most dire situations he would always remain at Sebastian's side as his demon had him. Every single situation and bad thing that happened over the two and a half years of their relationship was a test to Sebastian's loyalty; he had proven devoted to his master. The end had come and it was Ciel's time; He hadn't proven anything at all except his will to die! It all made sense to the earl. Sebastian had a stubborn personality as did the young master, but when the time was right he would always comply and prove the master to be better. Now that the roles were reversed, Ciel couldn't even prove the same!

_I'm a royal idiot! _Ciel said angrily, beginning to fight his way to the surface. He felt the weight of his clothes and his biggest part of his will now, trying to pull him down farther to his death. But the earl's stubbornness was heavier than any obstacle. He clawed his way, struggling, until finally his face broke water.

A deep breath overcame the earl, inhaling deeply and exhaling quickly in a panting motion. He pushed off the overcoat and kicked off his shoes (or at least one), attempting to be lighter. He treaded water for a moment, before he looked up at the top of the cliff, expecting to find the butler there watching. When no figure stood, he looked toward the rocks; no figure stood there either.

"Sebastian!" Ciel managed. His breaths were ragged, his eyes looking frantically along to coast and the cliff. He was interrupted with a crushing wave into his body, crashing into him and forcing him under. He tumbled, vision distorted, before he was able to break the surface again. The earl was closer to the rocks this time, a few meters away. He coughed hard, inhaling the water again as he was forced under again.

"Sebas!" Ciel cried out when he was above the water again. He was frightened, death so close, closer than when he stood on the cliff. He wanted Sebastian, _needed _him. He hadn't even said a proper goodbye.

Ciel was picked up this time with the third wave, the foaming water boiling over him. He was basically tossed into the rocks, which came closer and closer every second. He shut his eyes tightly. He decided his last words, that spewed from his lip without a second thought.

"It hath been said often, that it is not death, rather dying, that is terrible."

It was a horribly realistic quote from Ciel's favorite book, _Amelia. _It was a book he had read while in the 'orphanage'. While a romance novel, he had remembered that quote. It was the most complicated idea Ciel could have ever thought of, but now he understood that as well. The idea of death was not a painful nor horrible thing, considering death is approached by every one in a way. It is the ending to the story we write, the ending to pain and suffering. But when you were in the process of dying, each painful word that dripped from your quill seemed more dreadful that the last.

Ciel prepared himself for impact.


	21. Chapter Twenty

Ciel would never consider himself to be lucky. Every four leaf clover and horseshoe could never improve his serendipitous chances. But perhaps he was today; he missed the rocks by nothing, the sharp tips making scrapes across his shoulder and chest. Instead he collided with the small area of sand right below the cliffs. The wind was knocked out of him, bringing stars to his eyes and vomit pass his lips, spilling into the grains.

The earl moved to his hands and knees, and slowly up to stand. Exhaustion was beginning to take his toll, pulling his eyelids down to shut completely. He was falling asleep while standing, a soft sigh passing his stained lips before he opened them once more.

Ciel looked around at where he was, resting a hand on the white wall that ran upwards to the top of the small overhanging cliff. There was no way up from the sand, and no way back to the actual beach. All he could do now is give up, to wait for starvation and dehydration to pull him into death's grip. It wouldn't be long for the newly-created wounds and the previous gashes to become infected, and even a shorter amount of time for any hidden wounds or breaks to become known.

"Sebastian!" Ciel called out as loudly as he could with his drained energy. He knew he wouldn't show, but it was worth a try. He waited a few minutes, listening to the threatening waves and licking his salt-tainted lips, which were dry from dehydration already. The boy leaned into the cliff, sliding down to sit at the base instead of stand. His eyes closed, breath uneven and his body aching with pain.

Ciel moved to lay down in the soft sand. He buried his fingers into the cool sand, wiggling them slightly. "___Damnata sunt, et Dominus monet et facere ultionem____." __He whispered, his eyes closing. The earl's breath was slowly down against the sand, each exhale scattering particles. "But revenge is not mine to take." His voice barely made noise, his head beginning to ring._

_The earl took his last breath._


	22. Chapter Twenty-One

It couldn't end like this, and the earl knew.

He opened his eyes once more, a new kind of energy boiling. What kind of Phantomhive child would he be if his death wasn't prided? Not one at all, especially since the last of the family was with him.

Ciel stood up, looking at both extending ends of the beach. His right was blocked by another extended area of the cliff, and his left prolonged the sandy beach, and so he picked that direction to go in. His pace was quick, running even, looking for some sort of shelter or rocky area to climb. Often he was sprayed by waves that overlapped the height of the rocks, but for some reason he ignored it. Perhaps it was the will to survive.

Minutes took into hours of looking and playing this game of hide and seek with a passage. But finally, he found it. It was a rocky slope that lead up to small hill to the cliff. After a sigh, the earl hooked his hands on the lowest rock and began to pull himself up. The rocks cut deep into his palms if he didn't take his time, and he didn't. Blood seeped out from his hands, but the majority of him didn't take the time to feel the pain that came with.

The earl reached the top, pulling himself up onto the dead-grassy hill. He collapsed against it, taking a few breathing moments. But even when those breathing moments were over, Ciel had no more energy. Nothing to put forth and no motivation to continue on. He was done and completed, and he shut his eyes. Not in defeat, never, but in pride. He had proven that cocky demon wrong; he had survived the fall, survived the collision, and made it to the top of the cliff once more. _More than Sebastian could ever expect of me._ Ciel thought quietly, running his fingers through the grass.

Sleep overcame the earl, but not in death. It was peaceful, relaxing, allowing his muscles to get the rest that was needed.

**((I want to thank all the support for this story! Thank you all for reviewing and even for the 3k views in total, it keeps me motivated! Perhaps an ending won't be arriving soon if you all enjoy this story so much!))**


	23. Chapter Twenty-Two

**((Sorry for the wait, my laptop broke! D: But here we go!))**

Sunlight streamed across the blue haired boy's body, which didn't move except the rhythmic rising and falling of his chest. The waves crashed, but this time soothingly and not tauntingly. Birds cooed their sweet song in the distance, and the grass felt damp against the pale skin of the injured earl.

The cobalt eyes opened, looking at the beach below the area he had fallen asleep. _Beauty lays not in the human body. _Ciel thought to himself. The water wasn't as harsh as the previous night, more of a milky white than the dark abyss of black Ciel had experienced. It lapped at the rocks and the white sand, and then retreated back into the channel. The earl turned over onto his back, wincing softly as a stinging sensation clouded his right side. But no matter or meaning came to him, only looking up at the bright blue sky that covered him. No clouds covered the beautiful sky, as if an apology to the bitterness.

Ciel sat up, gently rubbing his eye with his mudstreaked hand. He looked around the plateau, inhaling the sweet onion scent growing from the broken foundation a few meters away. It was calming, relaxing, settling every part of his mind in a soft bliss, and even as he stood, kept him from growing lightheaded.

The earl licked his parched lips, and he began to walk toward the light-dirt path. A light limp was in his walk, and his body protested in pain from the scabbing wounds. But nothing could stop him now, Nothing in the entire world. He had broken his fate. He had control now.

The walking took an eternity and more to reach a decent spot to sit and rest on the path. The earl rested his forehead on his knees, trying to calm his breathing before he turned his face and puked on the road. His hands shook slightly, grasping the torn pants tightly.

"My, my." The familiar voice taunted, the clicking of the well polished shoes on the cobblestone coming to a stop next to the earl. "It seems as if I underestimated you."

"You're a fucking liar." Ciel said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he looked up at the clad butler. "You knew I would jump."

"Ah that, I did." Sebastian tapped his chin with his finger for a moment. "But to survive, a surprising feat." He slowly clapped. Each applause was like a dull knife into Ciel's heart.

The young child stood up, dizzy, but he did stand. He watched the butler, before he spit on his shoes; a sign of disrespect. Sebastian dropped the gloved hands, and a softened smirk fled to his mouth. "Fuck you." Ciel said, turning his body away from the butler. The smirk on the butler's face turned wider, watching.

"Has a lesson not been learned?" Sebastian asked, placing his hands on his hips.

"I dunno. You always were a horrible teacher." Ciel insulted, continuing to walk. He didn't want anything to do with him.

A chuckle was brought to the air. "And you, a stubborn student. Perhaps I may summarize our lesson? Maybe to refresh your memory." Sebastian said, clicking his tounge. The boy stopped his walking, and after a moment turned around. He was curious to what ignorant words would come out of his mouth.

"Go on."

"Every second that I had you in my care, I could have destroyed you. I could have snatched your soul in your sleep, or maybe when you were complaining about not having hot enough tea. I could have plucked every dignity that you clung to without a struggle, and humiliated you in your every breath. The only words out of your mouth could have been please no." Sebastian strided to the earl. "I could have torn each limb from your body and snapped each and every bone like a toothpick in my fingers. Your soul was much sweeter than chocolate, and the more I waited the more I longed for your bittersweet vitality to melt in my mouth. Each day, every minute, I contemplated prying it from your hateful heart. But I didn't.

"I could have made you mute, silenced every single biased opinion, drowned your every thought that included anyone except me. I could have forced you into a submissive bitch for as long as I pleased, because you are nothing. Nothing except another lonely soul in the world of unpleasant beings trying to make themselves important. You don't control me, Ciel, and that is something I believe you forget quite often. I chose to let you live, to wallow into your own molasses pit of sorrow until the numb clouded the child inside of you. No longer have you youth, and perhaps the fault is not of you or of the wrongdoers.

"I chose to keep you close and shield away the truth of things, taking each word and hurtful motion the world decided to make you play with away. It was never fate that hurt you, and nor was it destiny; It was I. And I, am truthfully and utterly sorry." Sebastian picked up the earl with no problem at all. "Perhaps it would be better to gently take your pain away, but you must trust me. I can take away all the hurt. All you must do is give me your soul, Ciel. Will you let me do that?"

Ciel watched the butler for a moment before he nodded softly. Sebastian kissed his forehead. "All you must do is relax."


	24. Chapter Twenty-Three

Ciel blinked a few times at the ex-butler. He traced his eyes all over his face, soaking in every detail and flawlessness that he could. After a moment, another soft nod came from him. "Okay." He whispered.

Sebastian gently kissed Ciel, his lips warm against the earl's cold ones. The boy was unresponsive at first, but began to kiss back in a soft manner. His fingers ran through his black hair while the ungloved demon's hands held tightly on his waist. It was a final goodbye kiss, and Ciel didn't want it to end. But sadly it did, and the boy turned his head slightly.

"Libido, avaritia, gula desidia, superbia, avaritia, invidia." Sebastian murmured, running his thumb over the marked eye. His auburn eyes turned a beautiful maroon, and the pupils turned to slits. Ciel closed his eyes at the sight, and he relaxed his body.

Sebastian cupped his cheek for a moment. "When you love someone, you let them go." He said, as Ciel's soul was pulled away from his body.


	25. Chapter Twenty-Four

Perhaps dying wasn't all that bad. All there was was darkness in front of the earl's eyes, or maybe his eyes were closed. Either way, it was a blissful nothingness feeling, like the weight of the world was taken off of Ciel's shoulders, and it was painless.

Thoughts turned to fuzz as Ciel let go. But even then, they didn't completely go away; it was like a bee buzzing a few meters away that you could hear, but couldn't locate. It was quite annoying, so annoying that he opened his eyes, aware of the warmth that surrounded him.

He wasn't on the beach that he had fallen unconscious on; instead there was ceiling. It was white, and any cracks had been filled with a gold paste; _kintsugi,_ it was called. The walls were a dark mint green, the bordering white on the top and bottom. The room was well furnished; a spruce wood nightstand that held a glass of water and a glass vase with cherry blossoms, a matching dresser and vanity, and the bed frame was the same wood. It was a king sized bed with a purple comforter and white embroidered sheets, spilling over the young one and the large pillows. Paintings hung on the walls, only two; both of a tourist-y kind of feel. The lace curtains only filtered the sunlight that poured in onto the white carpet, leaves of trees swaying in the shadows. Candle stubs had burned to only a few centimeters, probably from over the night. When the earl sat up, he winced loudly, giving a soft hiss as he looked down at his dressed wounds.

A headache pounded into his frontal lobe as he got up from under the covers, cool breezes lapping at his skin like puppies. His memory was fogged, as did his many other thoughts that tried to surface. After taking a drink of the crisp water, he looked back at the room. It all seemed so peaceful, so inviting.

"Sebastian?" Ciel called into the empty room, not expecting an answer. But, indeed, one came; his ex-butler opened the door to the bedroom. A warm smile was on his face, and Ciel could barely recognize him without his usual butler-attire on. Instead, loose-fitting sweat pants and a clingy white flannel shirt covered his body.

"Ah, you're up." Sebastian said. "Good good, I would have believe two days enough rest."

"Two days?!" Ciel exclaimed, looking over at the window as if it would tell him the time. "Where the bloody hell am I?"

"Ah ah ah, I won't tolerate that in my house." Sebastian smiled down at him. "A clean person is a happy person, hm?"

"Your house?" Ciel wrinkled his nose a little. "What am I doing here? And where is _here_!"

"Torri*, Italy." Sebastian said simply. "And the reason you're here is I took enough pity on you not to let you die with half a soul, that's why. See, when I took your soul, that tricky Trancy had a few tricks up his sleeve. He knew you'd kill him, because you hesitated too much." He sat down on the edge of the bed, despite the scowl. "He demanded that that petty maid of his, Hanna; You remember her, don't you? Anyways, she also marked you because of the brat. So, I can't take the remainder of the pity soul. Sad, isn't it? You were quite the meal, while I was enjoying you anyways." He rolled his eyes in sarcasm as he stood up again. "So, instead of leaving you to suffer illness and slow, painful death, I brought you here. It's more of a summer vacation home, hm?" Sebastian laughed at his own joke.

"Why didn't you just kill me?" Ciel asked bitterly. "Why do you always have to bring my torment farther and farther along?"

"No longer are you in torment, Ciel. Your deed as been done, and as long as you don't question me, no pain or regret should be felt. You bring that upon yourself, now." Sebastian inspected his nails for a moment before he pinched a cherry blossom petal. "Perhaps I shouldn't have given you such a nice guest room with your attitude." A glare was sent to Ciel's way.

"What more do you want? I can give nothing else." Ciel asked, picking at the bandaging.

"I want to keep you as a plaything, a toy, a pet; The same as you've treated me over the years." Sebastian said, plucking the petal in one motion.

"I never meant to do that." Ciel said, watching Sebastian. "I never."

"Ah well, things happen." The smile returned to Sebastian's mouth. "I'll nurse you to health, and then I'm sure you can do things from there forth on. Breakfast, Ciel?"

"Yes." Ciel said, and a humph came from Sebastian.

"Even in death and in the presence of your worst enemy, you still are the rude little brat that I've grown to love." He smile sweetly, tauntingly even. "Perhaps a few cheek-reddeners can sort that out." Sebastian gently pinched Ciel's cheek in the same way he did with the petal, before he strided back to the door. "Or maybe you can starve."

"Yes, please." Ciel scowled deeply, humiliated at himself. A soft chuckle came from the tall figure.

"That's better. Get your rest, boy, you'll need it." The ex-butler grinned before disappearing behind the door.

***Torri; Past day Scandicci, located in ~middle of Italy. Called 'Torri' until approx; 1905.**


	26. Chapter Twenty-Five

The days that followed were more hellish than jumping off of the cliff. The only thing in the room to entertain the boy was the colors in the room, and watching the petals turn brown and rot. He wasn't allowed to get out of bed, and his stomach was starting to hurt from all the laying around. Breakfast was served at eight, lunch was served at one, and Dinner was served at 9. If Ciel wanted, a small snack of fruit or berries would be given at four along with a cup of hot tea (usually Darjeeling). But the days drifted one after another containing boring days and sleepless nights.

But finally, a different routine came.

Sebastian opened the door with breakfast in his hands, and blinked at the flat bed. No earl was in sight. "Hm." He said, placing the platter down on the table before he placed his hands on his hips. The ex-butler looked around the room momentarily. "You're playing a very dangerous game, Ciel." His voice was light and cheery, but the meaning behind the words was dangerously dark.

Ciel was hidden in the wardrobe behind all the jackets and clothing, curled up in a small ball. He was tired of being threatened by the butler, and was hopeful to confuse him now that no contract mark was placed to determine where he was. He held his breath, only letting out soft pants.

Sebastian looked under the bed to begin with, sweeping his eyes across the room floor for any feet or legs. When he stood up again, he looked toward the door, and he began to make his way to that. "Maybe the brat found his way in the hallway."

Ciel listened for the doorway to shut before he got out. He had worked the window's sealed-shut paint off of the rim, and had been able to open it with ease; an escape route. He crawled out of the wardrobe, only to be picked up by the back of his collar. A yelp left his mouth.

Sebastian tsked. "What do we have here? A misbehaving child?" He tilted his head a little, a sweet smile on his face. "Crawling on your hands and knees like that, reminds me of an animal. Maybe that's what you'd like to be treated as? I mean, you resemble one quite a bit."

"As if." Ciel spat.

"Oh please, Ciel! For starters, you don't actually appreciate anything given to you. Second, this is probably the best one, you both are _bitches._" His smile was taunting. Ciel knew he had hurt Sebastian, but he never knew it was this much! "Perhaps giving you the responsibility of behaving was too much for you to handle, child." He sighed softly with a shake of the head. "A shame really." He tossed Ciel to the bed with ease, disappearing behind the door that went in the hallway for a moment before he came back with something in his hand.

"What's that?" Ciel asked, scootching away from him.

"Don't ask questions you already know the answer to." Sebastian said, pulling his wrists behind his back and fastening the rope around his wrists. "Maybe now you'll learn to behave, alright?" He tauntingly kissed his forehead. "Have fun, _earl_." He spat as he shut the door behind him.


	27. Chapter Twenty-Six

Days rotted into nights and nights faded into days, each rising and falling of the sun teasing the young boy as he was forced to watch through the window. It was autumn now, the leaves slipping into the bright red and orange. Usually, Ciel would have watched them in secret amazement, but now the colors hurt his eyes. He would close his eyes to the alluring colors, because no longer were they beautiful to him; He felt disgust.

Not to make matters any better, Sebastian added to the teasing by _opening _the window, allowing the crisp air to flow into the bedroom. The earl would only turn his head in disgust, and that surely got a few smirks from the ex-butler.

But yet, Ciel was being more submissive when it came time to follow orders. When he was being fed he wouldn't bite down too hard on the fork, and he said please and thank you. Obviously the older man felt arrogant to being able to tame such a wild child, but the universe won; he had done it.

"Ciel." Sebastian said, opening the door. Dinner was soon to be ready, and Sebastian decided to reward the boy for being such a good patron.

"What?" Ciel asked, not turning his head from looking at the ceiling.

"Would you like a bath? I'm sure one can be in order if your attitude is lost."

Ciel shut his mouth immediately, shifting his arms slightly. He hadn't noticed it, but he realized he hadn't had one in quite some time. "Yes." He said, his voice not hard but more of a soft, relaxed one. He turned his head to look up at him as he came to the side of the bed, helping him up to his feet.

Wordlessly, the two walked to the bathroom. The earl's eyes examined every piece of wallpaper and every painting. The paintings weren't tourist-y at all; They were of people, about the age of Ciel or maybe a little older. They were smiling, happily, as if they were laughing.

"Who are they?" The boy asked, licking his lips a little.

"You'll meet them later." Sebastian said, taking a left to a smaller hallway before opening the oak door to the bathroom. It was a smaller bathroom, with white tiling floors and walls and marble counters. It was obvious now that the ex-butler had to be quite rich to own this much; it was more than Ciel had ever dreamed of. Sebastian shut the door, stopping the boy at the side of the porcelain tub. It was already filled with water that steamed, as if Sebastian knew Ciel wouldn't have objected.

Silence followed as Ciel was stripped bare, and even the bindings were taken off. The earl wiggled his fingers and rubbed his wrists, mumbling a thank you. He stepped into the bath, giving a wince at the burning sting, but it felt so good in a way. Ciel put his other foot in, and waited a moment before he lowered himself into the bath. Lavender swarmed his head, strongest in the water that he seeped over his legs and body. He closed his eyes, sinking down until his chest and stomach were under. The water licked at his chin, tickling his ear lobes and running through his untrimmed hair.

"We'll have to trim this up." Sebastian said to himself, allowing the earl privacy as he didn't look directly at him. He waited a few minutes to allow him to relax, before he began to wash him. The boy was quiet, only sitting up and allowing his head to hang slightly, eyes still shut. "I apologize for my actions a few days ago." Sebastian said to break the silence.

Ciel opened his eyes, watching the water before he looked over at the kneeling ex-butler. His cobalt eyes inspected his posture, before he returned his eyes to the water. "You're just saying that." Ciel said stiffly, using the palm of his hand to rub away the invisible filth.

"You're mistaken." Sebastian said, massaging the boy's scalp with his fingertips to reach every bit of dirt. "Although our contract no longer stands, I do not lie."

"Don't speak." Ciel said suddenly, looking back over at him. Sebastian was actually surprised at that, pausing in his washing. "I'm not stupid. I may be a child or whatever you want to call me, but don't treat me like I know nothing. I know how you are, the games that you play. You loved to torment my other servants all the time with your word games, I heard it. I said nothing because you're like everyone else I've ever known; you _undermine _me." There was no rudeness in his tone, only sullen backing to every word. "You would tease her, Mey Rin, with every husky voice and every word that you spoke. You got a satisfactory high from watching her fluster like a rose, and then you would do disgusting things to yourself. You weren't at all quiet. And the older one, Bard. He had seen your tasks as child's play in comparison to what he had seen. Countless times he had told me stories of war, and yet, you acted so better than he. Finni, too. He always tried his hardest, told no secrets, and yet you acted like he was nothing. You treated them all as if they were nothing, nothing in a world of all this hate and regret that becomes reality. You never cared for them like you said. You lied to them, and yet to you, that's nothing." Ciel jutted his jaw. "And then when you did those _things _to me, persuaded me with your filthy words and your painful touches. You acted like I mattered. But I didn't. I never did." He swallowed painfully, his voice cracking. "and now I'm here and I know no one. I'd rather rot in Hell and be treated for what I was worth and not what you thought." Ciel turned his head away from him, to the bathwater. He had rubbed his legs raw while talking. "I can wash myself." He said bitterly, pushing Sebastian's hand away lightly.

Sebastian frowned slightly, but he said nothing. He only stood, and he turned for the door. "Work begins tomorrow at five." He said, and he left the bathroom.

Ciel only stared into the bathwater with watery eyes and a lump-filled throat. _I never did._


	28. Chapter Twenty-Seven

Ciel had found out who the pictures on the wall had been; Servants for Sebastian. There were five of them, each one respectable and proper. He had only met three out of the five.

The first one introduced herself as Haylie. She took after Sebastian's sense of cockiness; She had obviously been here the longest. Her hair was a chestnut red, pulled up ontop of her head with bangs that framed her fragile-looking face, which was contrast to her huge chest and wide hips. Though her humor was light, her brown eyes told a deep story full of pain and sorrow, and Haylie often stared in thought at things when she didn't have to pay attention.

Ciel found out he would be sharing a room with another one of the boys of the group, who was identified as Laurent, a taller male with a French accent to his English. His brunette hair was cut short, the front spiked slightly. His eyes were a crystal blue color, going well with his fair skin that was only a little lighter than Haylie's mocha pigment. Laurent was happy to share his things with Ciel, glad to move out the old roommate who the earl hadn't met yet.

The third was another female, short and sweet, about the age of seven or eight. Haylie told him that she liked to be called Drew, though her real name was Kimberlee. Laurent had commented on that as well, saying she didn't do much work, spending her time with Sebastian was her only real "chore". Nothing much else was said, since she was pouty and ready for a nap (As Haylie responded with a laugh and put her to bed).

The day was spent with Laurent,trying to figure out what Ciel was good at. "I cook when Vir isn't here." Laurent said happily, pulling the knife through the potato peel.

"Who's Vir?" Ciel asked simply, looking up at him as he tried to mimic the movement. Laurent didn't respond for a moment.

"He's a little, different." Laurent bit the inside of his cheek. "You don't want to know Vir personally." No more questions were asked about Vir.

When they had gotten done with laundry, cooking, and gardening (in which the boy could not do any of the three properly), Laurent turned him over to Haylie, who did the miniscule house work.

"Mostly dusting and dishes and sweeping, that kind of thing." Haylie looked over at the earl. "What did you say your name was again?"

"Ciel." Ciel said, meeting her gaze. Haylie watched him for a moment before a sweet smile came to her lips.

"Do you know who I am?" Haylie asked, tilting her head a little. Ciel slowly shook his head. "I wouldn't expect you to. 1784, worldwide famous pirate." She smiled brightly, placing her hands on her hips.

"1784? But you're only 15!" Ciel said in surprise.

"I was Sebas's last victim." Haylie said, "When you only have a part of a soul it's only the part that makes you live. He promised me that I'd be his last, but I guess not, you know?" She looked away from him, and Ciel watched as her jaw gently jutted outwards.

"I'm sorry." Ciel said absentmindedly, even though he had no idea what he did wrong.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Haylie sighed softly. "Look, sorry If I'm a little hostile, alright?" The earl responded with only a slight nod, and he went back to work with her.

The only thing that the earl had been good at was dusting, and it hadn't been deemed enough to be able to be considered his only chore, so he was still on the lookout for something to do. Haylie reassured him with a smile that he'd find something, considering there were two other sets of jobs to be done. The three of them stayed up quite late – about midnight – until there were thoughts of bed.

"Where is Sebastian?" Ciel asked, looking up at Laurent. The french male raised an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?"

"He wasn't down here at all."

"Oh, yeah that. Gluttony, you know, with taking your soul."

"But, that was a long time ago-"

"He talked about you quite often. Your soul was ripe, riper than any of ours had been. He had taken too much, that's what you were bedridden. He doesn't need to feed anymore, for a while now." Haylie interrupted. A light nod came from the earl, and a yawn followed.

"Maybe you should go to bed. I mean, you're used to eight hours of sleep instead of five." Laurent said, "You'll be tired tomorrow." The boy had no words to even begin to protest, bidding them all goodnight as he slinked off to the bedroom.

The bedroom was white, both of the beds having a quilt and a red comforter ontop. A desk with a book or two sat next to the small window, and a lonesome painting hung between the two beds. And that was that, clothes folded or hung in the small cubbyspace. Small, but comforting for the earl. He shut his eyes to the surroundings, and he let out a soft sigh of relief.


	29. Chapter Twenty-Eight

Days went by. Fall was concluding into a bitter winter, as apparently every cold season had been. The colorful leaves of red and orange and yellow had began to rot, sitting in piles under tarps to be burned for fuel in the servant's quarters. Sticks were picked up on the daily, a chore that had been neglected, set in covered bins that would also eventually end up in ashes. 'Spring' cleaning had began to take place, as Sebastian said that cleaning in the winter would avoid the hassle in the beautiful spring (as if he knew anything about beautiful things). The jobs that the servants had previously carried out were already set in stone, meaning that Ciel got the jobs that they all had to participate in the previous year. These tasks included going through the attic and basement, clearing out insects and arachnids or dead rats and rats nests, moving emptied bird homes to the outside shed. It was arduous work for the small boy, considering he had never even thought of how they took care of the rodent problem in his manor. It sickened him, the thoughts of their broken necks and the feeling of the contorted ribs and limbs that had broken in the struggle of getting out (which implied that they in fact had not died!). There wasn't too much blood, but one incident made the job seem even worse.

"What do we do with it?" Ciel asked, standing a little behind the older French boy as he examined the struggling rat. Ciel had found it under a few boxes that apparently had fallen from the shelves and trapped the thing with a broken foot and a few damaged ribs.

"We gotta kill it." Laurent said, brushing the white coat of fur with his fingertips.

"But we can't take care of it? Keep it in a cage, or something?" Ciel asked worriedly, watching the rat. He had already picked out a few names for it.

"Nah. It's already starving, it'll be dead in no time. It's sufferin'." Laurent stood up, pushing the rat gently with the toe of his boot.

"Vincent'll live, really!" Ciel exclaimed, tugging on his arm a little. He received a scowl.

"You already have a name for that damned thing?" Laurent asked, and it rose a little heat in Ciel's face.

"Yeah. It's a little stupid." Ciel admitted. He looked at the rat, watching each struggling breath and each gasp for air, barely holding on to life. "How'll we kill it?"

"We could, um…" Laurent looked around, and he disappeared behind a shelf of boxes. When he returned he held a shovel in his hand.

"We're not burying it alive!" Ciel snapped. Laurent have a sad smile.

"We're not burying it. We're gonna have to smash it to death, no other way." Laurent said.

"We can't even break it's neck, or something?!"

"Ciel, listen to me. It's gotta be this way. But we both gotta do it, you know, split the blame." He held out the shovel with one hand. Seconds passed before ciel nodded and took it with his right. "We'll hit it together, as hard as we can. On three, okay?"

Ciel nodded, licking his chapped lips. "Okay, Laurent." He said quietly.

"Alright then." He got into a stance that would include Ciel, so they could equally put in force. "One….. Two….. Three!" Simultaneously, the two brought the shovel on the rat five times. The crunching of bones and the squeals of the rat subsided by the third blow. Ciel had his eyes closed, face turned away.

"He's dead." Laurent said, looking at the pile of bloodied fur and guts that had spilled out. A sniffle passed Ciel as he tried to calm his breathing, upset for some reason. He wasn't going to cry, but he was sure damn close. Laurent sighed softly before he let go of the shovel handle, pulling Ciel close to a hug. "Stop your crying, Vincent's gone to another place now." He said quietly, softly, comfortingly. Ciel took in a deep breath, swallowing the lump in his throat down.

"I wasn't crying." Ciel protested, but wiped his eyes just in case. "I was just, sweating from my eyes."

"Crying doesn't make you weak." Laurent said, watching the boy.

"Yeah it does."

"Does not. You know how I know?" Laurent tilted his head a little as he sat down on a box. Ciel shrugged softly.

"Are we really sure of anything?" Ciel mumbled, only getting a French-filled murmur from Laurent.

"You're born crying. You know that? When you come out of your mother's womb, you're crying - as soon as you take that first breath. You're all blue and stuff, and then the doctors cut the little cord and they smack your behind and you start to cry." Laurent said.

"'Cuz you're just a baby." Ciel interjected, and Laurent scowled.

"Dieu bon sang!" Laurent snapped. "That isn't the point! Maybe you wouldn't be so bitter in life if you wouldn't take the world through cynical thoughts!" He stood up, stepping around Ciel. Ciel jutted his jaw slightly, and he didn't fight with the boy.

((AN: I'm sooo sorry for not updating in a month! School and stuff is really beating me up!))


End file.
